thought of the day

commitment. words associated with this concept:

yes
maybe
try
could
should
want

those are just a few i can list off the top of my head as i'm huffing and puffing from my situps and pushups for tonight. i'm getting back into shape after 5 months off of working out.

so back to my thought of the day. so i'm chatting with this random girl from the philippines. long story, but she looked me up on msn and messaged me one day. of course i anwsered because i thought it was my cousin amy that i've spoken to recently. anyways this girl has been trying to chat with me still even though i haven't had much time to be online.

anyhow she seems to be a needy person just like someone we all know... me. BUT i've learned since my experiences that i let my emotions get in the way of what i actually want. i think albert lai brought it to my attention that high school kids now a days call that a person with emo or something to that affect. damn i'm getting old. i can't understand what the youngsters are saying anymore. i guess i understand how parents or adults feel.

in chatting with this girl... i realize that commitment is a hard concept to understand. some people think they have it down, but i really don't think so. the words i listed above are ones that come out of people's mouths when they want to do something. for instance... working out. for me it's plain and simple. you either DO it or NOT. most people WANT to exercise and get healthy, which is a good starting point, but if you don't take the initiative then that means jack shit to me. execution. take all the avenues you have out there to go out and actually do it. if you're lazy, find ways to motivate yourself. if you are busy, which i know most people are not even though they say they don't have the time, why the fuck do you have the time to eat something and sit around watching tv then? don't take too much offense to that statement since i can't eat like a normal person. at least i find ways to eat more though. the progress shows in the weight i've put on. so what if it takes me forever to eat. i am who i am. at least i'm making progress. more than i can say for those just sitting around criticizing. you know who i usually listen to? those that get shit done. key lesson here? acceptance and then change.

excuses. that's all i hear from people. it hurts. blah blah blah. NO PAIN, NO GAIN. so why do people give excuses? simple. it's easier to give an excuse then to get your ass into doing something. i have to admit though. i catch myself doing the same shit. BUT when i realize it, i take the appropriate actions to correct my errors. my problem is that i commit to too much. that's also a bad thing cause it's a demotivator. right now i have filled up my time so that barely get ANY downtime. i sleep maybe 7 hours a night.

what i've learned... ROUTINE. what about it? GET INTO A ROUTINE. leave maybe one or two days free to be flexible enough so that you don't break your routine. any changes are taken out of your flex time. if you can't fit it into that free slot... then you shouldn't commit to it because you have prior commitments. i've made some mistakes trying to balance commitments in the past. no more commitments that i can't keep from now on. integrity is also an important virtue to procure. i have an approach that i will live by now. that just means i have to learn to say no when i cannot accomodate a request.

there's my thought of the day. take it for what it's worth. rambling from a stranger you don't know or maybe from a person that you think you know, but not really. =)

i bid thee goodnight and happy thoughts.

continued from last post

figured i'd get this trip out there piecemeal. click on the picture yada yada yada. you know the drill. insights will come next post i guess. gotta eat since i hadn't planned on a long nap after work. guess that weekend trip did tire me out physically.

vancouver weekend

not much i can describe here, so i'll post a song lyric for now.

Jimmy Gets High

by Daniel Powter

Jimmy you know, everybody hates you when you're living off rock 'n roll
So you get high tonight
And Jimmy you lied, I wonder if you ever get yourself back here alive
So you get high tonight

'Cause you don't need nobody to make it on your own
You dont need nobody you'd rather be alone
So Jimmy gets high tonight
And Jimmy gets high tonight
I must confess, I'm a real live wire
Jimmy you and me we get along a while
Jimmy gets high tonight

Jimmy you lied, I'm hoping that soon maybe life it don't pass you by
So Jimmy gets high tonight
And Jimmy you know, everybody hates you when you're living off your rock 'n roll
So you get high tonight

'Cause you don't need nobody to make it on your own
You don't need nobody you'd rather be alone
So Jimmy gets high tonight
And Jimmy gets high tonight
I must confess, I'm a real life wired
Jimmy you and me we get along a while
Jimmy gets high tonight

I've been so confused
And I just hope it all gets banned to you
So Jimmy gets high tonight

I must confess, I'm a real life wired
Jimmy you and me we get along a while
So Jimmy gets high tonight

And I hope it'll be allright
Jimmy gets high tonight
And I hope it'll be allright

Jimmy you know, everybody hates you when youre living off your rock 'n roll
So you get high

short work week

where did the time go... besides the fact that we had monday off, work this week seemed to have flown by. i'm still ramping up at work since there's so much to learn and i've been away from systems administration for some time. i've forgotten how great it was before i left on my journey to be an application developer. i've always loved programming, but only if i am to benefit from it as apposed to writing something for others. for now i'll digress from work.

this past weekend... all i can say is i'm sorry. always remember that you are, and will be my best friend forever, even if you get sick of me one day. i have no excuse for all the things i've done that hurt you so much. you are truely more caring of a friend than i can ever hope to be. i know that you have a great heart and i took advantage of your kindness without much in return. and for you to forgive me this weekend and take me in still, that's just beyond words to me. thank you sooooooooo much for being there for me. i don't deserve a friend like you.

i wished you could have joined us on the hike at point reyes. the 5 and 1/2 hour walk was refreshing. as much as i hated hiking, the 13 miles did me some good. its like showering when i was a kid. i always hated to get in, maybe because getting out was cold, but i really didn't hate showering itself. i think its the same with hiking. i hate getting ready for a hike, but once i'm on the trail it's quite tranquil and scenic. of course we took pictures and i've posted them on my gallery page.

so i had a chat with eileen today over dinner. i think i've come to accept the fact that there is absolutely no one out there for me that i can talk with that doesn't complain about one thing or another. maybe i have to turn gay in order to find my soul mate. . well it's getting late. gotta sleep early these days. my body can't handle staying up late anymore. plus i'll save everyone from my philosophical thoughts for this week. there's too many to discuss in just this post or maybe in my lifetime.

gnite.