i'm back from the land of the canucks after a weekend of soul searching. what an experience. now i can say that i can navigate most of the american northwest. well, not really most, but the major cities and downtown population. of course all that time on the road was good for reflection... reflection on my life and those around me.
if i were to begin my brain dump, this post would never end. so... lets begin by what's on my mind now and break life down into pieces. oh and by the way, if it sounds as if my post is a collection of lyrics, that just might be the case since driving all that distant requires lots of music so that i could keep myself sane.
so the strategy this weekend was to break my life into a collage. every piece was broken down and analyzed. hence that was when i figured out that my thought pattern is more complex than what i've claimed in the past. so let me begin by illustrating how i categorize my collage. basically i broke down my pieces as a captured snapshot. a time slice of significant events.
which was an interesting coincidence that david and i encountered a group of girls trying to perform an experiment for a project that they were working on. the objective of their project was to capture a 5 minute time slice of personal space on granville ave, which was downtown vancouver's busy street when it comes to bars. basically every other building on that street was a bar. so we talked to those girls asking what they expect to observe from this project. they really didn't give us a good explanation of their project, but i kinda figured what direction they wanted to go with it.
back from my tangent, i decided to take each piece of my collage and break them even further into human emotions and instincts. the field of behavior learning hypothesize that human instincts are behaviors that were not learned, but in fact innate. emotions then would be a composition of basic human instincts mixed with various life events. emotions control our quantifiable attributes such as fear, courage, pride, etc etc.
do you see where i'm going with my premous? this weekend has taught me that i can take control of my life. what i do defines who i am, but what i am also doesn't have to be what i have to live with forever. when i get away from my everyday life, it is much easier to break myself down to the basics. when that happens you can see yourself in a better light. what really matters though is how i want to change myself to get to where i want to be. execution is the key. which means what to me... leaving the past behind. life is living for the future. i've already set goals, which i've set aside for the past 5 years, but now its time to act on them.
imagine. that was maybe a 5 minute snapshot of what went on in my mind. now some of you can understand why i can't sleep most nights. driving lets me brainstorm to the point where i can't think of anything new i haven't thought about.
here's a fun thought though... picture your life mapped out on an equalizer. replace all the frequency dials with human attributes such as the ones described above, such as fear, courage, etc. the more attributes you can define the better you can adjust the noise wave... or your life. =) imagine being able to control the dials and say tune down your weakness like say fear. wouldn't that be a great idea? what if you find out that you can ALREADY do this?! easier said than done? yes, but it's definitely plausible.
i thought about this as i was looking at the DJ spinning at a club up in vancouver. it has to be THE loudest club i've been to so far. could have swarn my ears were bleeding or something since i could barely hear david after we left the club at 3am.
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