La Belle Et Le Bad Boy by MC Solaar

Sounds corny, but Leili suggested it. Turns out to have a catchy tune after all. And one of my favorite shows Sex and the City used it on one of their season finale when they filmed in Paris. Here are the lyrics and the song is to the right in my flash player. Just hit the play button.

Mc Solaar - La Belle Et Le Bad Boy Lyrics

* the [] areas are an english translation

Ils s'etaient rencontres sur les bancs d'l'ecole
[They met back in school]
Entre une heure de colle de maths ou d'un cours d'espagnol
[Between a math class and a spanish class]
C'etait un fille fun fana de football
[She was a soccer fan]
Lui ne craignait pas les balles, c'etait le goal
[But he didn't fear balls, it was the goal]
C'qu'il lui promettait c'etait des ballades en Corvette
[Only thing he promised was rides in a Corvette]
Pour l'instant en survet, il volait des mobylettes
[But for now, he was stealing scooters]
Mais entre eux c'etait toujours complicite
[Between them there was always complicity]
Escale sur un piedestal un reve delimite
[Stop on a pedestal, a clear dream]
S'il devenait triangle, elle serait rectangle
[If he became triangle, she would be rectangle]
La belle et le bad boy, le triangle rectangle
[The beauty and the bad boy, the triangular rectangle]
C'est comme passer de Joe Dassin a Jodeci
[It's like going from Joe Dassin to Jodeci]
Un vrai truc de ouf style pur clip de R&B
[A real R&B videoclip drama]
Elle vit le grand amour, qui commence dans la cour
[She's living the great love, that begins in the court]
Se poursuit dans les tours et rime toujours avec toujours
[Continues during tours and always rhymes with 'toujours']
Mais le contexte est plus fort que le concept
[But the context is sronger than the concept]
Son mec se jette dans les flammes et il se lave avec.
[Her man jumps into the flames and showers in them]

Chorus:
Les sous ensembles dans les grands ensembles s'assemblent
[Small ensembles in big ensembles assemble]
La belle et le bad boy(x3)

[The beauty and the bad boy]
Les sous ensembles dans les grands ensembles s'assemblent
[Small ensembles in big ensembles assemble]

Les sous ensembles dans les grands ensembles s'assemblent
[Small ensembles in big ensembles assemble]
Pour gagner des sous ensemble
[To win money together]
Parlent sans faire semblant de faire des coups ensemble
[Talk without giving the impression of doing business together]
Et si c'est sanglant. Ils plaident devant Dieu ensemble. Vu
[And when it gets bloody, they plead God together. See.]
Ils etait convaincant, elle etait convaicue
[They were convinving, She was convinced]
A croire qu'aujourd'hui s'arreter etait exclu
[To think today that stopping was out of the question]
Ils trafiquent des faux billets avec des reseaux slaves.
[They traffic counterfeit money with Slavic networks]
Balancent la concurence. en France c'est un delit grave.
[Beat the competition. In France it's a serious offense]
Risque pour les pommettes, les mecs sortent des baumettes.
lui n'a qu'un truc en tete, c'est la quete de sa Corvette.
Ambiance paranoiaque. L'equipe adverse traine
[Paranoiac environment, the adverse team lags behind]
Des projectiles partent quand une BM freine
[Projectiles go off when a BMW brakes]
Quand elle tombe, il a les larmes aux yeux
[When she falls, tears drops off his eyes]
Deux balles de 22. Vingt deux ans adieu
[Two .22 bullets. Twenty two(years old) Goodbye]
Le contexte est plus fort que le concept
[The Context is stronger than the concept]
Son mec s'est jette dans les flammes il faut qu'il se lave avec
[Her man jumps into the flames He has to shower in them]

fabricated love?

is there such a thing as first love? it's hard to say if such a notion exists. i personally thought that it had existed, but now i've come to realize that maybe being the first had a lot of influences over what i thought was love.

to be honest, i still don't know what love is. i'm sure that one day i'll find out when i least expect it. girls are very emotional creatures. which makes them easy prey for certain guys. they know a much about love as guys do, but they can be fooled a lot easier as well.

so here's a poll for those lovers out there. how did you meet your other. are they your first? if they were your first, then how long did you wait from the prior breakup before you met the current.

au revoir

et puis je fume

french song i found most relaxing to sing to

this song was sung by the group pink martini titled

Sympathique

Ma chambre a la forme d'une cage
Le soleil passe son bras par la fenêtre
Les chasseurs à ma porte
Comme les p'tits soldats
Qui veulent me prendre

Je ne veux pas travailler
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

Déjà j'ai connu le parfum de l'amour
Un million de roses n'embaumerait pas autant
Maintenant une seule fleur dans mes entourages
Me rend malade

Je ne veux pas travailler
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

Je ne suis pas fière de ça
Vie qui veut me tuer
C'est magnifique être sympathique
Mais je ne le connais jamais

Je ne veux pas travailler
Non
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

Je ne suis pas fière de ça
Vie qui veut me tuer
C'est magnifique être sympathique
Mais je ne le connais jamais

Je ne veux pas travailler
Non
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

---

translated the songs means...

my room is a cage
the sun streams through the window
the bellhops are at my door
like those little soldiers
who want to take me away

i don't want to work
i don't want to lunch
i want to only forget
and then i smoke

long ago i knew the smell of love
a million roses
couldn't smell as sweet
now a single flower
in my way
makes me sick

[chorus]

i am not proud of this
life that wants to kill me
it is magnificent
to be simpatico
but i have never known this

[chorus]

it's a very soothing sound listening to it in french. i'll rip it from my album and post it someday when i have the time.

au revoir

new year, new goals

lets see... this year's new goals are in no particular order:

french <- taking at ivc now
salsa <- taking at ivc now
shields sailing <- spring/summer
gym/120lbs <- constantly working at (still hovering 115)
drawing <- currently sketching again
vacations <- in the works for china, peru, or grand canyon camping trip

some of these are in the works and a few are in future planning. tis a new year and more fun times to come. looking forward to spending more time with friends as always. hopefully we'll go to more dance clubs since it's fun and i can always use more practice. ;)

and for all my 420 folks... it's time to light up! time to party it up in 07 since i've finally gotten the hang of it. ;)

back from my cruise

first off merry christmas to everyone. what a year it's been thus far. we've still got a few days left before kicking off the new year of 2007.

anyone who knows me knows that i love driving. fast, slow, far, near... it doesn't matter just so long as i am behind the wheel and driving anywhere. ever since i started driving, i've always used it as a way to vent and meditate.

day drives are great for cruising along a peaceful scenic route, the sun's warmth on your face and body while the wind's breeze cools you down from the burn building upon your skin. listening to old tunes brings you back into the past and the world continues to move forward around you.

night drives, just like the day, are also great to cruise along. it's best when the air outside is cold or chilled driving with the heater blasting. the mixture of both the cold and warmth is difficult to describe, but it leaves you with a great sensation. there is very little visibility of the environment around you as you drive except for the stars twinkling in the sky and the moon's night light guiding you in the night. this is when i can meditate best with very little distractions going on except the mildly stimulated senses.

cruising route 66 was another great adventure i have yet to complete next time around. this christmas eve weekend judy and i got as far as the national petrified forest in arizona before we had to turn around in time to come back for christmas. the route starts on colorado boulevard around santa monica and ends in illinois i think. thanks to judy for planning and organizing the trip. i had a lot of fun and great experiences.

pictures will follow soon.

precursor to this year's recap

i can't believe an entire year is almost over with a blink of an eye. where has the time gone? there were moments that seemed like time had frozen, but maybe that was just me. it was almost yesterday when i started this blog. the year has been full of ups and downs and a LOT of chaos.

looking back i think i kept myself quite busy, which seems to have worked out nicely. there were a few accomplishments and a few goals that got pushed aside, but that's just life. i think i may have distance myself from a couple friends and reunited with some past ones. i hope i didn't offend anyone in my mentally crazy state of mind.

well... since my workout buddy has just canceled on me, i'll be heading out to the gym myself today. today's blog with be short like my recent posts, but the gym comes first. it really is my new addiction among habits.

i'm sure i'll post another recap before this year is over or maybe first thing next year.

420 vision

post now powered by 420 vision.

finally got a chance to watch breakup and click this weekend. good movies, even though i thought michael newman should have stayed dead. would have been more powerful that way. breakup at least ended in a realistic way. the moment that shook me was when brooke told gary that she didn't feel the same way after his elaborate, yet typical guy's epiphany after the problem has been spelled out for him.

to be continued...

daily shuffled thought

Lifehouse - Blind Lyrics

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like is was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this time
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
And I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me dies when I let you go

---

As you leave or depart anyone that's been an integral part of your life, it always does feel like a part of you has died. I love the lyrics to this song. I guess at first it seems a bit negative, but if you really think about it it turns out sometimes a part of you dying is a good thing.

As humans, growth does not always have to be physical. Mentally we all need to grow, but in order to do that life has to change. Leaving certain parts of us behind, leaves room for the additional changes. Sometimes it's sad in the beginning, sometimes it's exciting, yet other times we are just scared of the unknown. Change is only made easier if we don't resist, but adapt to our new experiences.

The past year of my life seems like I've grown more than I ever have in the past 5-10 years. The passage was a rough one, but I'm able to see ahead as if the fog has slowly lifted.

I hope that someone finds this song as inspirational as I have. If not, keep your head up and remember that life is not worth living in the past. Make of it your best with the time you have left. Enjoy every breadth of experiences life has to offer.

sex and the city

okay. so maybe i'll start my own version of carrie bradshaw's column sex and the city. i've watch enough episodes with my roomate eddie that i have some contributions of my own.

tonight's topic is of course about girls, women, and whores. what's the difference you ask? a buddy of mine and kent's from austin told us once that girls love to date assholes, women date distinguished men, and whores love to seek rich men. he didn't say it in those exact words, but you get the picture.

the problem is that there IS no difference in why the female gender are more attracted to these types of guys. so lets sit back for a moment and try to understand what it is that attracts females. of course this is from a guy's perspective so each reader and formulate his or her own opinion on the matter.

put yourself in a girls position at bars and clubs. why are girls hanging out at bars and clubs? some are just having a night out with their girlfriends and enjoying the dance floor with their groove on. some are actually out fishing for a guy to have fun with. none are really there to look for any long term relationships. you would be pretty lucky if you think that you can catch a guy at a club that you actually have a long term relationship with.

from a guy's perspective, we go to clubs to hangout with our buddies and for some eyecandy. it's also a good place where you can practice building your confidence and if you're lucky have a short term physical relationship. in other words, sex. any guy who doesn't think about it has got to be a virgin... or gay. i don't believe that a single normal everyday guy does not have any thoughts about sex throughout the day unless he just doesn't get out and look around.

so back to what attracts girls to guys at clubs. at first i use to think that it had a LOT or even everthing to do with looks. for some that is true, but still those types are not impossible to attract. from pure observation it's REALLY easy to see that girls respond to confidence, even from assholes at clubs. yes, most guys that go pickup girls at clubs are assholes. we're not looking for anything long term. seriously, men are not attracted to little girls intellectually. who would you feel talking to a television. communication is only one way, the tv. and what content do you usually get from girls... shows, fashion, food, shopping, yadda yadda.

intellectually stimulating? i think not. sexually attractive... maybe. potential for short term, definitely ideal. easy to breakup without the messy emotional attactment. am i an asshole for strategizing like that... if i were to rationalize it, no. girls are young and don't know any better. from experience come maturity. to a young girl though, i'm just another asshole on their resume.

now women. they have matured pass the early stages of experiments and heart breaks. at this point in their life, they are through playing with boys and are ready to settle down. some have avoided the BS all together and kept on the track of being career oriented and independent. guess what though.. they are looking for men who have lots of ambition and are motivated just as they are or more. these men also have charisma, and what comes along with that? yes confidence! this scenario is the ideal for the long term relationships.

lets talk about whores. these are your typical gold diggers looking for a sugar daddy to spend money on them in return for short term relationships. guys with money... now what guy with lots of money lack confidence? none that i know of. are these guys assholes? you betcha. they have money to flaunt and girls just come flocking. in this case confidence is just a coincident, but none the less it's there and displayed. these guys don't have to work as hard as assholes with little or no money, but they can still attract whores if not girls as well.

where do i fit in these types of personalities. i don't quite know yet. nice guys DO finish last, so that's one thing i would definitely avoid aspiring to be. nice guys are TOO passive and would let opportunities pass them by waiting and waiting...

and there was my first attempt of a post similar to carrie bradshaw's column from sex and the city. i will have to completely live the single life to report back on my observations and experiments. until next time, good hunting.

milestones

well... summer is coming to an end soon so i'd like to list my accomplisments thus far.

i've managed to cut down on the cost of living these days thanks in part to eddie, du, and hans. i really wasn't soooo hard of a task. total material purchases since i've left ibm has been roughly less than 200.

i've completed my capri sailing classes, got rated, and now a member of a sailing club. this past weekend i was able to take christine and kano out for some sailing off newport. this weekend i'm taking john and his gf laurie out for a whirl as well. i was asked to help with classes taught by jim, whom also works in ics as our facilities manager. i'll take him up on the offer starting next weekend since it will be with harvey mud (sp?) students and it seems like it'll be fun.

as for my health, today was my highest weight of 115.5. definitely happy to see those numbers. i'm now benching 155lbs as my max and 135lbs for my reps. would like to get to 200lbs soon, but i would also like to weigh 130lbs also. today i started riding bikes with eddie for an hour. we rode nearly to spectrum from our place. wasn't that far, but eventually well probably get further. of course he's got a beach cruiser and i have some sort of mountain bike, but we'll manage. street bikes are for whimps. ;)

my tan is coming along nicely from all the sailing.. i'm nearly black except for my life vest tan line. those should be going soon as i don't really need to put one on any longer since i'm not required to wear one now that i'm rated to sail alone.

as far as books, i've completed the tao of physics a few weeks ago. maybe a month, who knows. going to move onto the next book once i figure out what it'll be. grad school has taken a different direction towards philosophy. i figure i don't need a masters or phd in ics. i know a bit more than the average grad already. plus i'm looking at the kind of work they do and it's a bit dated. always thought they would work on more bleeding edge technologies. career wise... i will be able to advance without getting additional degrees. now i just want to expand my philosophy interests to an acedemic or scholarly level so i can discuss my theories and thoughts with others who would know what i'm talking about most of the time.

at this point i am behold religion and following doctrines that someone else interpreted or came up with from some profound thought. i am now the lone traveler whom chooses his own path in life. faith and destiny are a joke. life is far more complex with all it's intricate interactions to rely on letting someone else decide my future.

music video time

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

More music video codes at WhatsThatCode.com

post birthday weekend

friday night @shark club
saturday night @v2o
apparently i was dancing more at the shark club than i had at v2o. could have been because i drank more at the first rather than at the latter. the girls at v20 were also more intimidating because they were prettier i thought.

according to dave and friend anh, they weren't all that. so now i have to wonder about these two girls david is dating since they are suppose to be hot. dave, you bastard! share one!

that's all for tonight. getting some rest now so i can be awake for the concert tomorrow with death cab for cuties.

quote of the day

the best advice to make your dreams come true is to wakeup!

nough said. if you can't figure it out, you're not ready or mentally capable yet. for what its worth i got that statement from church today. usually i don't get much out of church, but today we had a visiting pastor so every now and then we'd get a new insight to walk away with that is non christian specific messages.

i can appreciate the message because it is forward thinking and also relates to the same message i've posted earlier on about execution. at some point some of our dreams solidify and become reality.

good day

tis always a good day when girls roll down their windows to say hi to eddie and i again at the same corner on alton and culver. i love that corner of the street. ;) i wonder if they are the same girls from last time. hard to tell since it was actually a different car they were in. this time eddie said hi back while i just looked to see how young they were. i think they're still in high school, but hey... no complaints if they wanted to say hi first. =)

hopefully next time we'll have older women hitting on us instead. ;) then i wouldn't have to feel so bad. oh well...

i guess life is once again good to me. all the sailing i've done this summer has kept me busy and yet relaxed. it's also kept me away from computers for a bit after work hours. guess the only reason i've been on this much is because hans is on his vacation in japan so i have a little more work than usual to do, but i think i'm handling it ok so far.

i don't have much of an insight into life today so back to some light reading for work and then off to bed. can't believe i've changed my schedule so much that i'm actually tired around now. i guess i can accomplish more in life when i work normal hours, let alone sleep normal hours like the rest of the world!

chow for now.

guess who's back

haven't posted for awhile, so i felt the urge to do it tonight. so i'm torn between how i should feel about ray leaving again. just when i thought one of my friends was moving back here for at least a few months, he's got another opportunity in radio over in china.

don't get me wrong. i always wish that every one of my friends make it big one day and become as successful as they can hope to be, but its hard when they do it so far away.

first i hear that kano is going to school in chicago. then just a couple days ago after be so excited about ray coming back, i hear that he's off again in two weeks. so from now on here's what i'm going to do. i will try my best to not become emotionally attached to friends. there's gotta be a trick to that all. i've detached myself from computers unless it is for work. i mean the computer that i'm on now hasn't been installed for over a month now. the old me would have had this up the night of.

i think i can also detach myself from friends as well... at least emotionally. if anyone else leaves... well. that's what they have to do. for former coworker was right. once i accept reality (which is relative), but my reality, i'll be happier. i don't care what others think reality is.

in the next five years, i hope to finally finish getting my parents their place. then i hope to be a nomad forever. life would be much better without ANY attachments, physical or emotional.

ok. now for some words from the wise:

Let us forget the lapse of time; let us forget the conflict of opinions. Let us make our appeal to the infinite, and take up our positions there.
-Chuang Tzu

The absolute tranquility is the present moment. Though it is at this moment, there is no limit to this moment, and herein is eternal delight.
-Hui-neng

In this spiritual wold there are no time divisions such as the past, present and future; for they have contracted themselves into a single moment of the present where life quivers in its true sense ... The past and the future are both rolled up in this present moment of illumination, and this present moment is not something standing still with all its contents, for it ceaselessly moves on.
-D.T. Suzuki

i thought those quotes from the tao of physics were interesting seeing how i'm on the section of quantum field theory. particles such as electrons/photon can scatter in any direction in time and space.

how does that relate to us? i take it from this angle. take the notion of no past, present or future. EVERYTHING is now. the past and future are concepts we associate to time since we've always learned that time moves forward. with new discoveries and advances in physics we know that that is not the case ALL the time.

so why live life in the past or future? is there a point? ever since i was young i think my parents have always kinda hinted at that notion. i would always ask them what we would do tomorrow, when, etc. you know what my dad tells me?! we'll know when tomorrow comes. i always hated that anwser. guess what?! i kinda live by that same rule. i've never planned anything. my rule was you'll know when i know. i was happier.

with ages brings more and more memories of the past. i mean, it makes sense. you have MORE and MORE memories as you live out each day. BUT those are just memories. you learn from them and move on.

so what's my message. don't live in the past and don't rely too much on tomorrow. what matters is THIS moment. and here's a cliche... live it to the fullest! drinking, smoking, sailing, driving, flying... i will experience it all before i get put six foot under. my last breath will NOT be filled with any regrets.

thought of the day

commitment. words associated with this concept:

yes
maybe
try
could
should
want

those are just a few i can list off the top of my head as i'm huffing and puffing from my situps and pushups for tonight. i'm getting back into shape after 5 months off of working out.

so back to my thought of the day. so i'm chatting with this random girl from the philippines. long story, but she looked me up on msn and messaged me one day. of course i anwsered because i thought it was my cousin amy that i've spoken to recently. anyways this girl has been trying to chat with me still even though i haven't had much time to be online.

anyhow she seems to be a needy person just like someone we all know... me. BUT i've learned since my experiences that i let my emotions get in the way of what i actually want. i think albert lai brought it to my attention that high school kids now a days call that a person with emo or something to that affect. damn i'm getting old. i can't understand what the youngsters are saying anymore. i guess i understand how parents or adults feel.

in chatting with this girl... i realize that commitment is a hard concept to understand. some people think they have it down, but i really don't think so. the words i listed above are ones that come out of people's mouths when they want to do something. for instance... working out. for me it's plain and simple. you either DO it or NOT. most people WANT to exercise and get healthy, which is a good starting point, but if you don't take the initiative then that means jack shit to me. execution. take all the avenues you have out there to go out and actually do it. if you're lazy, find ways to motivate yourself. if you are busy, which i know most people are not even though they say they don't have the time, why the fuck do you have the time to eat something and sit around watching tv then? don't take too much offense to that statement since i can't eat like a normal person. at least i find ways to eat more though. the progress shows in the weight i've put on. so what if it takes me forever to eat. i am who i am. at least i'm making progress. more than i can say for those just sitting around criticizing. you know who i usually listen to? those that get shit done. key lesson here? acceptance and then change.

excuses. that's all i hear from people. it hurts. blah blah blah. NO PAIN, NO GAIN. so why do people give excuses? simple. it's easier to give an excuse then to get your ass into doing something. i have to admit though. i catch myself doing the same shit. BUT when i realize it, i take the appropriate actions to correct my errors. my problem is that i commit to too much. that's also a bad thing cause it's a demotivator. right now i have filled up my time so that barely get ANY downtime. i sleep maybe 7 hours a night.

what i've learned... ROUTINE. what about it? GET INTO A ROUTINE. leave maybe one or two days free to be flexible enough so that you don't break your routine. any changes are taken out of your flex time. if you can't fit it into that free slot... then you shouldn't commit to it because you have prior commitments. i've made some mistakes trying to balance commitments in the past. no more commitments that i can't keep from now on. integrity is also an important virtue to procure. i have an approach that i will live by now. that just means i have to learn to say no when i cannot accomodate a request.

there's my thought of the day. take it for what it's worth. rambling from a stranger you don't know or maybe from a person that you think you know, but not really. =)

i bid thee goodnight and happy thoughts.

continued from last post

figured i'd get this trip out there piecemeal. click on the picture yada yada yada. you know the drill. insights will come next post i guess. gotta eat since i hadn't planned on a long nap after work. guess that weekend trip did tire me out physically.

vancouver weekend

not much i can describe here, so i'll post a song lyric for now.

Jimmy Gets High

by Daniel Powter

Jimmy you know, everybody hates you when you're living off rock 'n roll
So you get high tonight
And Jimmy you lied, I wonder if you ever get yourself back here alive
So you get high tonight

'Cause you don't need nobody to make it on your own
You dont need nobody you'd rather be alone
So Jimmy gets high tonight
And Jimmy gets high tonight
I must confess, I'm a real live wire
Jimmy you and me we get along a while
Jimmy gets high tonight

Jimmy you lied, I'm hoping that soon maybe life it don't pass you by
So Jimmy gets high tonight
And Jimmy you know, everybody hates you when you're living off your rock 'n roll
So you get high tonight

'Cause you don't need nobody to make it on your own
You don't need nobody you'd rather be alone
So Jimmy gets high tonight
And Jimmy gets high tonight
I must confess, I'm a real life wired
Jimmy you and me we get along a while
Jimmy gets high tonight

I've been so confused
And I just hope it all gets banned to you
So Jimmy gets high tonight

I must confess, I'm a real life wired
Jimmy you and me we get along a while
So Jimmy gets high tonight

And I hope it'll be allright
Jimmy gets high tonight
And I hope it'll be allright

Jimmy you know, everybody hates you when youre living off your rock 'n roll
So you get high

short work week

where did the time go... besides the fact that we had monday off, work this week seemed to have flown by. i'm still ramping up at work since there's so much to learn and i've been away from systems administration for some time. i've forgotten how great it was before i left on my journey to be an application developer. i've always loved programming, but only if i am to benefit from it as apposed to writing something for others. for now i'll digress from work.

this past weekend... all i can say is i'm sorry. always remember that you are, and will be my best friend forever, even if you get sick of me one day. i have no excuse for all the things i've done that hurt you so much. you are truely more caring of a friend than i can ever hope to be. i know that you have a great heart and i took advantage of your kindness without much in return. and for you to forgive me this weekend and take me in still, that's just beyond words to me. thank you sooooooooo much for being there for me. i don't deserve a friend like you.

i wished you could have joined us on the hike at point reyes. the 5 and 1/2 hour walk was refreshing. as much as i hated hiking, the 13 miles did me some good. its like showering when i was a kid. i always hated to get in, maybe because getting out was cold, but i really didn't hate showering itself. i think its the same with hiking. i hate getting ready for a hike, but once i'm on the trail it's quite tranquil and scenic. of course we took pictures and i've posted them on my gallery page.

so i had a chat with eileen today over dinner. i think i've come to accept the fact that there is absolutely no one out there for me that i can talk with that doesn't complain about one thing or another. maybe i have to turn gay in order to find my soul mate. . well it's getting late. gotta sleep early these days. my body can't handle staying up late anymore. plus i'll save everyone from my philosophical thoughts for this week. there's too many to discuss in just this post or maybe in my lifetime.

gnite.