tiring tuesday

like yesterday, i was finding it hard to stay awake at work today. tonight's blog will be short yet again and not too insightful. i do have song lyrics backed up and another poem to interpret, but i'll save that for another night.

so i'm counting down some special events coming up this month. so far i have 9 more days till i can drive again; 17 more days till my braces come off; 18 more days till my trip to whistler; and lastly roughly 60 days left in my project up here in washington state with still 110 of 111 defects to fix. hmm. i'm probably missing something else, but that's enough quantifying.

now its my messages section:
eileen - whistler is a go for president's day weekend. i'm making plans now booking rooms and tix.
jen - i've updated your album with the movie of ray and i wrestling and the day i went to the hermosa beach and saw those dolphins.
danny - stop playing bf2 and increasing the point difference! i can't catch up!

and for the pic of the day, look at my stash of finite energy. i bought 2 cases of full throttle and red bull just so i can stay awake and focus.

2nd sunny monday in southern washington

ok. today was another tiring day as usual. shouldn't have stayed up late playing super monkey balls 2 with eileen and judy, but i had to admit it was fun. watching them two play was funny as heck. sorry ladies! hehe. btw, eileen/judy, if you are reading this... practice mario kart before i come over next time! i want to challenge someone worthy of racing. ;) ok enough smack talking. tonight's blog is going to be a long read so i'll make my comments short.

so i'll start by commenting about edgar allan poe's poem the raven. poe uses a lot of symbolism like the raven and his single phrase 'nevermore'. in the poem, a lonely man tries to ease his sorry for the lost Lenore. with all the distractions that he encounters, he wants to believe that his lost has come back, but he finds out that his mind is not letting go. there is a lot more to this poem if you read it carefully, but tonight i'm completely tired so i'll have to refer back to this poem at a later time. for now i'll post the poem and hope that someone can shed more insite. i would love to hear everyone's interpretations. so here we go:

The Raven
Poem lyrics of The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door
Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;
This it is, and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you" - here I opened wide the door;
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore!"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!"
Merely this, and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice:
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;
'Tis the wind and nothing more."

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore.
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blest with seeing bird above his chamber door
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "other friends have flown before
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said, "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of 'Never - nevermore'."

But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! prophet still, if bird or devil!
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend," I shrieked, upstarting
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

...

oh and before i forget, here are links to this weekend's adventures:
oh yeah jen! i thought of you when we saw dolphins at hermosa beach! it was really cool seeing a whole group of them swimming towards the beach. oh man. if only you were there. i did capture some pictures for you even though its not really the same. i also have some movie shots because i was afraid i didn't get any shots of the dolphins. i'll try to post the movies soon, but i do have the pics up. =) can't wait to see you guys again this weekend!

end of the week

ok. so this is a pretty late post. i got back from the sonic's game around midnight. it was pretty fun heading into seattle with most of my coworkers to enjoy a night out after what felt like a looooooooong week. the more i visit seattle the more and more i REALLY want to move there. now i'm thinking about a condo in downtown seattle as a possibility also. my friend jake tells me the condos down there start at 300k. not to shabby for a great location. it is now 1.40am and i'm pretty tired now after talking with eileen since i came back. this weekend i booked a flight into burbank and will be spending the weekend with eileen and judy for lunar new year 2006.

i'm heading to sleep now so i'll end my post for now with another poem i use to love.

Poem lyrics of Seven Ages Of Man by William Shakespeare.

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players,
They have their exits and entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then, the whining schoolboy with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden, and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice
In fair round belly, with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws, and modern instances,
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose, and pouch on side,
His youthful hose well sav'd, a world too wide,
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again towards childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

again another one of those poems i've come across in HS. man.. i miss my HS english class. back then i was so competitive that i was actually immersed in all my classes. english class was great because here i am, an asian kid who was actually a refugee from vietnam, doing much better than most american born in my class. i was so proud when my english teach would take parts of my papers and made copies to show her other classes. i worked my ass off freshman year in HS. of course it was also a private school, so even regular classes were like AP classes in a regular public school. after bishop montgomery, i left for north high, one of the public schools in torrance... that was a huge joke. i didn't work even half as hard as i did my freshman year and i was in all these honors and AP classes, acing them all. i think that was a bad start for my college career.

i don't think by nature i'm a lazy person, just laid back. i guess being too laid back makes me seem somewhat lazy at the same time. anyhow. my eyes are getting tired and need some rest. i'll post what ever pictures i took up during the weekend since i can't do that stuff at work anymore. damn network nazis.

goodnight for now folks.

another hump day

tis another rainy day in olympia/tumwater. so what's new? nothing much, but more work. i'm not stressing even though i know we won't complete the fixes before march. i'm just having fun up here even with all the rain.

wow. i just got off the phone with jen. called her at 10 something and got off at 12 basically. we were keeping each other entertained since danny was working late tonight waiting for a build and i was suppose to work also, but wanted to chat instead. while on the phone jen made her quiz about herself and i was excited to take it! my excitement soon turned to shock as soon as i realized how bad i am at remembering details! that and jen's test was hard! =( i personally think mine was easier than jen's! well.. i learned that my attention to details is weak and i need to improve on that. funny i can nit pick at details in software engineering and programming, but in life i've always lacked attention to details. something to work on.

tonight, like most nights when my coworkers and i go out for dinner is always fun. we always complain about work and stuff, but i really think we are fortunate even though we are underpaid. we still have lots of perks which most take for granted... i think those people mainly hate to travel though, which if you think about consulting... it goes with the territory.

so the plan tomorrow is to go to the sonic's games in seattle. we plan to leave work a little early even though we have lots of work to do. i know the project manager is going to go bonkers when she finds out we're heading to a game while we're under pressure to get things done. sometimes in life you just have to put work last. i mean the project executive doesn't seem to mind so much cause i think he is realistic about the outcome. its funny the drama we have at work between one of our crazy cocworker and the project manager. they always butt heads and i find it amusing.

ok. my neck is getting tired leaning over this tall bed and typing my blog so i'm going to sleep soon. oh yeah, checkout jen's gallery for pics of this past weekend! she has some candid shots of us which is pretty funny. man... my bowling style is WEIRD... now i know why i can't score high in that game. oh yeah! jen got a turkey!!! 129 points for that game!!! good job jen!

me pouting because jen beat me on the last game. =( i'm proud and at the same time competitive. i think most guys are pretty competitive. i thought at one point i never cared, but i guess i do. or is it the fact that i crave attention? hmmmm. hard to tell. cause i think i'm happy not winning either, as long as i got some attention. =) maybe that's why i like to suck at some things also. if you can't beat them, be worse then all of them. ;)

ok. going to save my energy for tomorrow's game. it'll be another fun night hanging out with the coworkers. we've got a good bunch of characters. =) i'm glad i'm not travelling alone. its been lots of fun. still waiting to get on a project with kent. i consider kent another brother since we can pretty much get tons of work done between the two of us.

oh before i end the post... here are some quotes to think over:

Words cannot express the grief one feels about lost love. Then again, wise words can heal wounds and help us reflect on the tragedy. If you have undergone a personal loss - the loss of love or a loved one - you will find this list of lost love quotes very relevant. Read the best quotes on lost love by famous authors like Samuel Butler, Kahlil Gibran, Socrates, and many more.

1) Washington Irving
Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.
2) Otomo No Yakamochi
Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.
3) Anonymous
Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.
4) Jean Anouilh
There is love of course. And then there's life, its enemy.
5) Alfred Lord Tennyson
'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
6) Kahlil Gibran
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
7) Margaret Mitchell
I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.
8) G. K. Chesterton
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
9) Samuel Butler
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.
10) Socrates
The hottest love has the coldest end.

adios folks. i'm outs.

tis tuesday

well... today was a busy busy day and i was totally tired at work. right now i'm ok, but i should really sleep early today. going to brush and do some pushups before bed. before i end today's post i wanted to paste the lyrics to an old song i haven't listened to in a long time. this time i actually listened to the lyrics and kinda liked it.

Jets - Make it real

Tonight it's been a year
we met each other here
Here I am all alone
as thoughts of you go on

Hear me cryin' out to you
you said, "Never, never would I leave"
Here's a tear from me to you
and maybe it will make you hear me

refrain:
I loved you
You didn't feel the same
Though we're apart
You're in my heart
Give me one more chance to
Make it real

In a dream you are here
You smile and hold me near
And in my heart I'll pretend
that you are here again

Hear me cryin' out to you
You said, "Never, never would I leave"
Here's a tear from me to you
and maybe it will make you hear me

refrain

Give me one more chance to
Make it real


might sound corny, but whatevers. it is what it is and i like it. do i still feel that way though... i don't know. i think as time passes, i feel a change from within. change is a part of life and the more that stay in washington, the more i want to move here. more specifically in seattle. which reminds me of one my favorite poems:

Poem lyrics of Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening by Robert Frost.

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it's queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

sounds depressing at first, but if you think about it it can be somewhat uplifting. just look deep into the message. it has a melancholy effect while reading, but a positive message. i still remember this poem because it was used to test us into honors english in HS. sigh... when i actually cared about school back then. well... time for bed.

monday back in washington state

can you believe it? i didn't get a chance to blog this weekend. so here i go. this week i flew in on monday morning rather than flying in on sundays. it was great since i got to stay over at danny's and jen's place another night. this weekend was great. i know it wasn't too long ago when i last hung out with them, but it felt good to see them this weekend. what made this trip great was that ray was also there!

friday when ray and i arrived jen made us this HUGE feast. i was totally stuffed and didn't even get to finish. =( damn my small stomach. i'm still trying to expand it, but it takes forever. seems like everytime i take a few steps forward in progress, i take serveral more backwards when something comes up. why can't i be like normal people and eat my troubles away. oh well. whatevers. anyhow this whole weekend i was eating since i was with great friends. which reminds me of some site i was browsing today to look for poems. here's what i found on friends:


Friendship is one of the most valuable assets that we create in our lifetime. That is why people hold friends in such high regard. This is a top 10 list of friendship quotes.
1) Latin Proverb
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
2) Robert Louis Stevenson
A friend is a gift you give yourself.
3) Sicilian Proverb
Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty.
4) John Lennon
I get by with a little help from my friends.
5) Kahlil Gibran
Friendship is always a sweet responsibilty, never an oppourtunity.
6) Edgar Watson Howe
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
7) Charles Caleb Colton
True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
8) E. M. Forster
If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.
9) Winnie the Pooh
You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.
10) Epicurus
It is not so much our friends' help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they will help us.


my favorite quote is from winnie the pooh, which i even think i remember the episode he said it in. its my favorite because it reminds me of when i use to use distance as an excuse for not visiting friends that live outside of orange county, but these days distance does not matter. i will drive, fly, etc... to visit my friends where ever they are.

i'm getting kinda tired so i won't sum of what happened this weekend. instead i have pictures and danny's blog, which he always does a great job summerizing everything. :-D oh yeah, if you want to hear a funny prank on ray, checkout danny's blog. ray was punked pretty good. ;)


here are the links to this weekend's album and today's pictures while driving south bound on the i5 while the sun is out!

its friday! san jose, here i come!

ok. 20 days remaining till i can officially drive again. sucks i can't even rent a car out of state cause the judge jacked my license. 2 hours remaining till i take flight today! i really can't wait to see danny, jen, and ray. i missed our weekly hangout like we use to have, but maybe we can make some new memories i can hang onto.

last night i didn't get much rest. i had a bad dream involving gretchen. i think i saw a side of me that i've never seen before and its kinda weird. if i still remember the details later, i'll describe how it went.

can a person really change that much in terms of their personality after a drastic change in their life? i look at everyone who has gone through some form of change in their lives and most have turned out for the better. then i question the path i'm heading towards and it doesn't seem that i'm really better off. who knows, maybe it just takes some more time and i'm just rushing everything.

hump day

ok. i had more to say than what i'm posting now, but my fucking laptop crashed so i'm just going to post the pics that i was going to post originally. so here goes.















so the two pics above are of my nice plain cube. that's where i'm going to spend the next 2 months working hard.









these pictures are of my room from my perspective while i'm in bed watching tv and on the laptop chatting.

there's not a lot that happened today and i'm tired, so today's blog is just mainly pics. time to work on booking tickets for ray to join me this weekend with danny and jen! can't wait!

no rain or dark clouds in washington today!

today was beautiful. you can actually see the blue sky and bright sunlight around here. i was a bit spaced out the entire day though because of the lack of sleep. it wasn't what you think though. i just got in late and had to wake up early for work. i guess i'm also getting use to the new hotel i'm staying at. its not a nice of a place as my prior stays, BUT its still not as bad as the shack in costa rica. ;)

i actually have some pics to post from my camera. =)
the picture here is a view from the 3rd floor of the department of corrections. my cube is close to this window. click on the picture to go to my gallery of pictures i took of today. oh, there's a pic in there of a parking lot just filled with water. it looks like a pond really. that's how much rain we get up here in washington state. funny that today was a sunny day, so that they had to reset the counter for consecutive rainy days. i think the record was a hundred and something days. crazy huh?

oh... and i before i forget... HAPPY BIRTHDAY EILEEN! may you find much happiness in your life this year! my gift shall be a trip to whistler president's day weekend. ;) i think that's when i get my license back. =) if not, i have drivers lined up to go. hehe. oh remember to take lots of pics this weekend when you head to vegas. wish i could be there, but i would feel weird with JUST girls there. plus i'll be in norcal with danny, jen, and ray! trust me.. whistler will make up for missing out on vegas. :-D

leaving orange county for awhile

now that my speeding ticket is settled and i don't have to be back in court for anything, i don't think i'll be coming back to irvine for awhile. being back here is just boring, except when i hangout with my friends, but for some reason when i'm not i just go back to being depressed again. i don't know if i'm actually making any progress moving on seeing how i always revert back a few steps when it seems i've moved forward.

can't wait to get on that plane and take off. wish i can just take all my friends with me also. at least i can look forward to spending next weekend with jen, danny, and ray.

time for a nap. mentally and physically tired. i'll contiue this post later when i'm back in washington, unless i'm too tired to login.
...

bye bye OC! clear skies and hot sun every day is over rated i tell you. ;)













i had to leave my hookah behind this time cause i already had two carry on. =( i promise to bring you next time buddy!

chillin on a sunday

i think i may have found my song for 2006. its sooo perfect. the irony of the song is that its a love itself.

lyrics for Neyo - So Sick

Mmmm mmm yeah
Do do do do do do do-do
Ohh Yeah

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cuz right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore
(it's ridiculous)
It's been months
And for some reason I just
(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger then this
(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Cryin over you

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

Gotta fix that calender I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be

That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)
Dont make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
Let it go
Turning off the radio

Cuz I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)

Said I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
Why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Why can't I turn off the radio?
...
on top of ALL my problems AND my brother's, NOW my mom is really sick at home and can barely talk. i don't think i can take this much more. to think that the bottom i'm falling into gets even deeper. that's it for today's post.

saturday morning. couldn't sleep in.

ok. so i slept at 3am pst after finishing my post last night and yet i still wake up at 8am. i had some weird dreams that were pretty active. can't really explain it cause it was just really weird and i can't remember all the details.

today i'm going to eat lunch with ray after he drops jasmine off at the airport. i invited christine out also so that we can all enjoy the company together. next week i'll be meeting ray up north to visit danny and jen. that'll be loads of fun. wish gretchen could have met up with us, but i think she'll be busy. i brought her up because right now i'm chatting with her on aim. i always feel better when she checks in every now and then. trying to cherish every moment even if its only on aim. to be continue later.
...
just got back from club v2o in long beach. after 2 drinks, 3 shots, and 5 cigarettes i'm headed off to sleep. details tomorrow if i remember everything. i actually took pics and movie shots of the club. first time i chatted to a random girl at a club. something different i guess. ok. about to pass out now since its 4am.

link to pictures.

gnite.

tis friday!

i rescheduled my orthodontics appointment to today since i won't be around next week or several weeks at that. the 17th marks my 5 year anniversary of when i got my braces. the GREAT news is that i FINALLY get them off for sure this time in feb because they scheduled 2 appointments back to back, one for removing the braces and the other for xrays and creating a mold. i'm definitely looking forward to that moment when i get them off... then i'll dread the week after when i have to xray and take a mold. i hate taking the mold cause it makes me want to choke all the time.

wonder how i'll look without braces. its been so long i don't remember how i use to look. all my pictures have me smiling, but with my mouth closed. =( so sad i don't have pictures of me actually smiling because i was self concieous of my smile ever since i was a little kid. weird how i preach to others that they shouldn't care what others think of them and all that matters is that they are happy with themselves. i guess i was never really happy with myself. i wonder if i was ever TRUELY happy at some point or will be in the future...

listening to dj mystik right now... the guy has a great compilation of songs in his mixes. must be nice to have a talent like his, so in tuned with the songs he listens to and the ability to make others feel heavenly at ease while listening. i would buy ALL his CDs to support him if only i knew where to get them or if he even sells it directly. he's released 36 CDs total in his career that i know of and i only have maybe 10. i can't wait to get ahold of the rest of his mixes.

Real Name: Tony Tran
Alias: Dj Mystik
Nationality: Vietnamese
Location: California
Style: Trance, Eurogressive
Mixes Released: 34
Homepage: Hypnotika.org

Dj Mystik is Vietnamese and from California. He is rumored to be the one who got the Underground Asian Music scene here in the United States going. He was a main part of the Asian trance scene which had strong roots on the west coast of the United States and was one of the first Djs in Hypnotika. He released 34 promotional mixes.

Dj Mystik mixes his tracks from one vinyl to other. He uses lots of white label and European releases which are hard to find in the United States.

It is rumored that he was a Dj so he could support himself as he went through law school. Supposivly he stopped releasing mixes so he could finish up school and concentrate on his networking skills.

As far as his current whereabouts go, no one is exactly sure. Apparently he disappeared from public view several years ago, around 1998-2001, supposivly for many reasons. Some of them could have been because of the filesharing due to Napster or mainly because there are so many Mystiks rising in Europe and he's not being recognized because of that. Some people say he might have become DJ Matrix while others say he is settling with his life.

It was also rumored that he was signed not too long ago by a German production company named Blutonium and put out Cyber clubbing with them as well as some singles featuring Pierre Knott and (DJ) Slim. He should be around his mid-late 30's by now.

Regardless of his mystery, he has made some great mixes and will always be remembered as one of the legends in the asian scene. Dj Epic and Dj Slim are still around pumping out some awesome mixes. Dj Mystik will never be forgotten.

oh yeah. i found a picture of dj mystik today. don't laugh. the picture doesn't compliment his skills. ;) remember he's part of the asian trance scene.


tonight was good. got a chance to hangout with some old buddies from back in college during my freshman year. we ate at AJ's in irvine. i think that's the 3rd time i've been there. pretty decent food and cheap. =)

afterwards i had a chance to hangout with muhammah and suzy at aladdin for some nice mint tea and hookah. i love that place. wish they had one in seattle, but i guess that's a good thing kinda. muhammad, suzy, and i want to get a place like that going since i think its a great business venture. i was telling them how perfect that place would be if we started one up in seattle since the cost is cheaper than here, plus it just suits seattle people well. cafes are plenty there and with the addition of hookahs, i think the idea might do VERY well. especially the location that i'm thinking of, close to a university and all. young people like to try different things and this fits the crowd.

my goal now is to put together a business plan for our idea, so i need to do some additional research as to the cultural surroundings and the economic feasibility. a place like aladdin brings in a good amount of revenue monthly, even for its current location. i think we can do even better. plus we have connections to the supply stream of hookahs. in addition to muhammad's idea of ebay'ing hookahs and accessories, we can sell off our surplus easily if need be to make more money on the side.

hey jen! i also have goals that i want to achieve now! before the end of my project in washington, i will have a business plan written up and all my research done. ;) life is all about taking risks right? well... i'm going to take a chance and see what happens. i believe the idea is sound, just need to put in the effort to make it successful! i will at least try and minimize the risk instead of jumping in blindly of course. =)

i'm moving on forward! but first some sleep since i'm dead tired right now.

gnite!

oh what a night

i woke up this morning with a slight hangover. last night i went to bleu with dave and his buddies. it was his buddy anh's birday a couple days ago and they didn't get a chance to go out till last night. i was celebrating my suspended license and getting fined. =) j/k. i was there to drink away my stress. oh guess what, i also bought a pack of cigarettes to smoke outside the club. i can see why people smoke now. its actually pretty soothing. maybe they are addicted to that part more than the nicotine itself. i don't really know. all i know i had 2 cigarettes last night and would have gone for more if we weren't leaving. after we got home, i just passed out and slept like a baby. no more dreams or anything. just out.

oh as for the log of what i drank last night so i can remember my limit: 1 redbull and yegameister, 1 just yegameister, 1 three wise men shot, and 1 water. =)

did i ever tell you guys about the dream i had a few days ago? it was actually a pretty happy dream till i woke up. i'll leave out most of the details, but basically i dreamt that gretchen and i got back together. the sad part was that i woke up at 6.30am as usual since it was a working day and tried to sleep in a little longer to see how the dream would turn out, but i couldn't. oh well, at least it was a good dream. one that i was happy again.
...
testing out my new camera below.

my new cue stick that i ordered from the ibm thanks award program. thanks ian for sending me the award. =) now i'm going to really practice my hustling skills at the pool halls. ;) i will beat you yet eileen! you may have beaten me EVERY game so far, but mark my words... i WILL get better!


my bottle of bliss. this bottle of sweet nector allows me to sleep on tough nights. without it i would be a walking zombie the following day. in addition to my jack, smoking helps relieve stress during the day. i would have my box of cigarettes posted, but i left it with some buddies at bleu! must go get some more now. =p


the box that my camera came in. i would have taken a picture of the camera, but that's hmm.. =)


my new video ipod! i like the nice black sleek look of this video ipod. you can see my dumbass reflection in it though. =p oh! i guess you can also see the camera that i got kinda.


picture id for the department of corrections in washington. i'm dead tired in the picture as you can see. i had 30 minutes of nap that morning since i couldn't sleep at all. so i basically stayed up surfing the web and watching tv.


and here it is... my first speeding ticket in CA going 103mph. this was my trip coming back from stockton. i've definitely learned my lesson after the harsh ass sentence i received from the damn judge in valencia.

what a day...

ok. so i missed my post on tuesday, but it was a pretty short day so let me summerize real quick. i had a half day at work and left to fly back to the OC around 3.30pm pst. lots of turbulence, but i found it relaxing this time. looked like the wing was going to flip off. =) i really didn't have a care in the world. i just listened to my ipod and tried to get some rest.

so when i got back david picked me up. we went back to his place and both changed into workout clothes and headed over to the 24hr fitness by the spectrum. i must say it was a good workout. we did arms and shoulders and i felt like i couldn't even lift my arms above my head at the end. that's when you know its a good workout. after that we both cleaned up and had dinner at BCD, a korean restaurant that is open 24/7. you gotta love places that are opened late.

after that i just headed over to judy's and eileen's to rest up for my court date today. i ended up sleeping around 2am and woke up at 5am. i left their place at 5.30 and actually got to court 2 hours ahead of schedule. i was damn tired and tried to sleep in my car, but as you all know... you CAN'T sleep in an MR2.

so ok... here's the verdict... i got my license suspended for 30 days... don't mind too much since i'm working out of state and my coworkers can give me a ride since we rent at the same hotel. here's the fine though... 1700+! DAMN. haha. i was a bit shocked cause from reading the CA website on tickets like mine... the max fine was suppose to be 500 for the first offence. oh well. i'm not going to bother with it. its something that already happened and in the past. just have to deal with the 30 days without my license and payoff that dang fine within the next 3 months. i can live with that. no one died or was hurt.

as for my drive today... i logged ~200 miles. damn that felt like a long drive even though i've had longer drives. maybe its just the fact that at the end of the drive, there's nothing to look forward to. i'm not visiting anyone or going anywhere exciting. i'm going to have to regulate myself from feeling the need to speed the next few years. maybe 7 years even. sucks ass. going 60-70 feels like a crawl. maybe worse than sitting in traffic. at least in traffic i KNOW i can't go faster than the guy in front. such is life... it sucks. oh... did i mention that today is the first time i've seen the sun in over a week? guess i should enjoy the sun while i'm here this week. after this i'll be away from socal for a month or so.

another seattle trip

so today after work jay, our new coworker steve, and myself went into seattle for dinner. jake recommended this bar/restaurant called alibi room. the description for this place as citysearch illustrates is:

Tucked under Pike Place Market, the Alibi Room could easily be dismissed as a place strictly for drinks, but it's also a popular dinner spot. Snug, dimly lit spaces and a smoky haze encourage a subtle kind of mating dance. Downstairs, rotating DJs add to the atmosphere with beat-heavy mixing. Order one of the daily specials, such as first-catch halibut or a morel risotto with asparagus. For late-night dining, share the sun-dried tomato hummus plate or the baked chevre with pears.

our dinner discussion was mainly venting about ibm and how under paid we all were compared to people in the same industry. its the usual discussion when ever we meet someone new and it seems that we ALL feel the same way. most of us have left and the rest are looking to leave once our pension is vested. mine actually was actually vested a few months ago in which i was in the process of looking before everything happened in my life. now its time to reevaluate my options and what i can provide.

wanting to move out of california is also being factored now into my plans. its kind of hard to balance a career change or even a new job while investing in real estate. added to that is a whole new location in a new town. then i keep thinking to myself high risks, yield larger gains... then i think about family... if i didn't have to worry about them, i'd have left ibm ages ago. moving out of california has been a recent urge, one that i'll hopefully follow through. i don't think i can stand life in irvine anymore. its a good place to raise a family, but i'm currently not at that point, even though i wish i were.

oh well... i didn't get to exercise today cause we stayed out late in seattle, but tomorrow i'm working out with david back home before i drive over to alhambra to spend the night over at eileen's and judy's pad. right now i'm going to washup, get into bed, and catch some tv before dozing off. i'm kind of tired already so it shouldn't take too long to fall asleep. tomorrow i have to pack and checkout. i'm going to miss this hotel since its the best one they have in olympia. damn legislature is in session for the next 60 days voting on new laws for the new year. apparently they have my hotel booked solid. =(

quiet sunday in olympia still

well. my weekend over here in washington was half decent. half because saturday was fun going out to seattle and all, but today i was just lounging around the hotel after i took a brisk walk through olympia. i have to admit walking through olympia i felt kinda out of place, where as seattle i blended in much more.

my only connections with friends from back home in CA was by phone and IM. so to recap the week, i think it turned out pretty well. i had fun exploring a small part of this state. feels much better than the previous project working from my room. i use to like remote projects cause i can go and do things i wouldn't normally be able to do, but laziness kept me in my room. on travelling projects i'm forced to be out, which i can appreciate.

i dread coming home this tuesday because i have to appear in court for a stupid speeding i got while coming back from stockton. the pig clocked me going at 103 by the magic mountain area. i guess i really should have paid more attention to WHERE i was speeding. i still like to speed cause its a nice feeling when i'm driving. anything below 100 seems like i'm crawling. anycase i can at least look forward to seeing eileen and judy when i get back... oh and muhammad! i really should make the most of the time i have with them while i'm home since i may not come home often. i really do miss my remaining friends that are till back in my area and hopefully they don't feel that i've abandoned them.

well.. its getting late. can't believe i'm saying that even though its 1am, but i have to wake up at 6.30am and get ready for work. yes, i actually go to work and have my own cube and everything. its a nice feeling actually. as far as exercising today, i can skip out on it since i can afford to put on some extra weight. as a reminder to myself though.. i worked on all chest machines last. next is is back.

O-yasumi nasai (Goodnight)

saturday morning in olympia

as i was washing up i came out and this video was on. it love the song now. probably heading into seattle later today to get the CD. oh did i mention that i got to sleep in today for the first time in a week? i got up at 9.30am. 9.30am! i use to sleep in till past noon!

James Blunt - You're Beautiful Lyrics

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
F**king high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

...
purchase of the week: PowerShot SD550 Digital Camera
...
today i went to meet up with an old coworker up in seattle. first of all, the drive was great on the i-5 up from olympia. it took over an hour because there was an accident where an suv flipped on its side on the right shoulder, but i didn't mind at all. there was a bit of rain while i was driving so parts of the drive was difficult to see so i slowed down to 60 or so. i'm still getting use to driving slow around here so i don't get any tickets. being classified as reckless in both TN and CA is all i can take for now. =) i love being in seattle so much i don't want to ruin my chances of possibly living here without being able to drive.

so i picked up my friend up in capital hill in seattle. great place. jake took me to a vietnamese restaurant for lunch. the place wasn't bad. typical vietnamese place. only there were some cute vietnamese girls eating there also. from their english, they sound like 2nd generation vietnamese. that's a plus in my book. so after lunch jake and i walked around seattle. i parked my car on 1st and we walked up and down market, pike, pine, and 3rd. oh yeah! i went to the first starbucks ever opened and even got some coffee from there. it was an awesome experience being in THE first starbucks.

after hanging out downtown seattle, we went back to jake's pad up near capital hill. his pad is AWESOME. makes me want to move up here now. i'm actually thinking of getting a place above jake's. that would be too cool. and its totally affordable with plenty of money to spare. i can picture my pad now. it would be an awesome hangout for friends to come by and chill and get away from the hectic world they live in. chillin in jake's pad made me so at ease. i feel sooo at home. after this project i'm totally going to look into my financial state to see if i can afford dual residency in both seattle and southern california.

i really hope i get my camera soon. my adventures so far has been sureal, hense i need to capture these moments on stills or movie clips. well.. i'm getting tired now after talking on the phone with eileen and finishing up this post. probably going to head to bed now. tomorrow i need to review some documentation for work, so i'm just going to relax in my room. wish i had a printer so i can hangout at the local cafes. maybe i'll just copy the docs to my laptop from the removable drive and take my laptop to the coffee shops like everyone here. anyhow.. i'll figure it out tomorrow. my eyes are getting heavy right now.

another rainy day in washington

all this rain here may seem gloomy, but its actually pretty soothing. driving in it kinda sucks, but i like to walk in the rain. every bead that falls on my face feels refreshing as if taking a cold shower.

today i discussed my travel arrangement with my project manager and came up with the idea of staying this weekend so that i can come back to LA for my early morning court date. the cool part of the negotiation is that i get to stay in LA till sunday. so here's what i have planned thus far after coming back that sunday.

the following weekend i want to fly into san jose and spend the weekend with danny and jen. yay! i want to go shopping with jen while i'm there since i'm looking to buy a completely new wardrobe. actually.. the plan was to stash some clothes there... keep my work clothes at the hotel to get dry cleaned every weekend, and then replace my wardrobe back in irvine. that's going to be a LOT of work, but lots of fun. SHOPPING! oh i actually want to buy new work clothes too since i own mostly sweaters and they are just getting old. plus there's a reason to replace everything. =)

for those of you whom haven't seen me in awhile... i'm probably going to change a lot. i'm eating tons of food up here now and some of my pants are getting a bit tight. i love the feeling. so far my dinners everyday are ~$40. its great to eat out on the company. ;) i can have my full course, including my coffee and dessert!

oh yeah. so getting back to my schedule... after visiting san jose and sf for the following weekend, i was planning on flying eileen up here so we can go to whistler from here. yay! i'll get to board this season. and i'm going with a crazy boarder! lol. well. no one to keep me back this time. ;) i wonder how long it will take me to improve now. i still have yet to go off jumps. we'll see how often i go though. its all about going often and practicing like any other sport.

so yeah. after whistler.. i was planning on flying david up here so we can hit the bars and cafes up in seattle. that'll be fun. exploring seattle with dave. i'm hoping we get in some excerise too since i haven't gone to the gym yet. i really want to convert some of this new weight into muscle mass soon. =) otherwise i might lose it once work gets busy.

oh man work... i have a feeling we're going to be busy already. TONS of defects. imagine an application developed by 90-100 people. most of them where outsource from india too. this project was so behind schedule... try like 2 years. =) and it never launched because of all the defects still in the system. we're the 2nd ibm team to come in to correct the issues while also designing new features for phase 3. now imagine how much work that will be for 4 developers taking over a system that took 90-100 developers to write... :-D it's going to be LOTS of fun and i'm TOTALLY excited. we have 3 months to get this done and deployed into production so that the state department of corrections can start using it. i love working on something that tons of people will use. internal applications are not as fun cause there is no immediate outcome that is tangible for me.

ok. finally able to get through to the travel agent to reschedule my trip and stay the weekend. that took me from 9.30pm till now, which is 10.50. i mean WHAT THE F%&^! oh well. i got my blog done for the day. going to do 100 situps and pushups, then head off to shower, brush, and into bed i go.

gnite homies! i'll catch yah tomorrow if ya online.. and if i'm not in all day meetings again. ;)

what's today? wednesday?

today i'm pretty tired. lots of meetings as expected since we're still ramping up. oh... tonight we had dinner at oster house since we wanted to watch the sc and tx game on tv. jay and i decided to get some pacific side raw osters for appetizer. it was SOOOOOO good. we're defintely going back there to try out the rest of their raw osters. before this project is over.

there's not much to post today since i was kept pretty busy at work and now i'm pretty tired. that's a good thing for me these days. i just need to keep my head down and work till i'm tired... eat as much as i can so i can come out of all this with some extra weight on the company's dime. as i'm writing this post my eyes are falling shut.

so today i just want to wish all my friends a goodnight and hopefully i'll chat to you tomorrow if i'm not busy at work. as for jen... keep your head up and know that you can do anything you want! remember all that pain i went through... i'm actually putting that in the past and moving on. i thought i never would be able to do that, but you guys helped me through all that. i have a feeling you'll find what you like to do, then work so hard at it and give it your best so that you can look back and be proud that you did it. =) go jen go! oh, just don't do pharmacy. bad things can happen. ;)

guess who's still up ;)

i think i'm too excited to sleep so i'm up posting another entry this morning. i had some tea and coffee for dinner so i'm thinking that might be why i'm wide awake also. although i did take some tranquilnite to try and sleep. apparently it's not working as you can tell. i loaded up my mp3's on the laptop and i'm sitting here listening to them while the tv is on in the background.

i wish i had a camera so that i can take pictures of this picturesque city. i've always had a thing for small town surban style cities. i guess it reminds me so much of upstate NY. i've always dreamed of raising a family in such a place because it's so peaceful. you don't have to worry about crime or your children getting into too much trouble. i like the fact that there is one of everything in a small town. one movie theatre, library, etc.. then those small mom and pop stores...

i'm seriously picturing myself with a pad in NJ these days. it's close enough to NY for the city life and back home for the suburban lifestyle. irvine has really pampered the way i live and act. i sit back and complain about things and never lifted a finger. we'll see if moving away from there will change anything.

i know i've said that i won't be concentrating on girls till after my discoveries, but once i'm ready... i want to find someone that has travelled as much or more than me. i personally think she will be more cultured and understands the world more... a person born and raised in a place like irvine... i don't think they can truly appreciate what it is they have, even if they think they do. it's such a sheltered place to be raised in.

wow. i'm still not tired. anyone know of a stronger sleeping pill? ;) for some strange reason... i feel like dancing right now. crazy. maybe it's the mp3's i'm playing., even though it's a slow song. actually justin timberlake is on tv. i can't tell what show it is on mtv cause the volume is down, but they have clips of justin dancing. the guy is an amazing dancer. wow, these guys imitating justin are horrible. wonder if i can do better. =)

ok. that's it for now... i'm going to watch this dance show. hopefully i can pickup some new moves for the next clubbing event. ;)
...

change

as promised, my post today comes from olympia, washington. as i was taking off from john wayne i felt both saddened and excited. saddened because i feel like i'm abandoning friends that are still there, even though i know they understand that i needed the change. excited because for some reason i use to always like change.

change is a part of life. of course i have to be reminded that change can sometimes feel good and or bad. it is what we make of it i guess. i'm looking forward to actually going to a client site tomorrow. looking forward to actual work hopefully. there's still so many places i want to visit this year.

there's a lot of things for me to be greatful for that when i do look back at my life... i feel that all the drama has been created by me really, not out of the usual life circumstances. even my brother's liver tumor seems to have a good outlook thus far. he still has his health and maybe by next year we will have more information on its status. i've made new friends this year, just as my friends have made new friends. all a part of life i remind myself.

as someone once commented on one of my posts... one day i will actually have my authentic smile back. we shall see in a few months after this project. hopefully the next project is also out of state. i still want to work over in NY or NJ. who knows, maybe i'll even move out there since i love their lifestyle over there. being in CA kinda makes me a bit lazy.

to be continued...

happy new years!

nye was a blast even though giantvillage was cancelled. those idiots promoted rain or shine and yet it was still cancelled. eileen and her friends decided to head over to club mayan after finding out about giantvillage and asked if we wanted to head over there also. of course we were looking for something to do for nye so why not? did i mention that it was blast?

today i had a few drinks to loosen up again for a night of dancing. 2 drinks of redbull and yegameister, 1 shot of yegameister, and a heineken to finish it off. dancing was tons of fun.

oh, the weirdest thing happened today. eileen's friend ken turned out to be the same ken from my HS days! dude... that guy was my computer mentor back in the days. he got me started on computer hardware and programming! my very first program was written on a TI89 calculator. it was a number guessing game. pretty simple, but very neat for a first time newbie. i lost touch with the guy after he graduated, seeing how he was a year before me. it was only after ken that i started to take comp sci ap for my senior year in HS. that class was tons of fun and i was the top best student in it! man.. senior year in HS. i remember my computer teacher even gave me a sammy saxon award for computer technology. its like the oscers or something at our HS. each year we would have an awards night in different categories.

man. good memories. so after we finished with club mayan, we headed over to the after party at eileen's friend steve's pad. he owns a pad in chinatown in LA. i met up with ken again and talked about the good old days of computers, BBS'ing, my mom's cooking, etc. man. i'm so glad to hook up with ken again.
...
pics coming soon of the night.

...
ok, last thoughts for today since i'm waiting for the tranquilnite to take affect. tomorrow is a start of a new change in environment. there has been so many changes in 2005, it seemed like i was stuck in ine place living in the past. tomorrow i'll be flying up to olympia, washington to work for the corrections department for a few months.

i know that memories are precious, but they can hurt at times when changes happen which involve the people in those blissful moments of your life. i think i've been able to expand my friends network three times my original group size this last few weeks. its great getting to know new people and i'm hoping that i can build a close relationship with most of them. i can't believe eileen and judy have soooo many guy friends. and they are still single? it's just an interesting thought. i do admit those guys are pretty fun to hang out with and chat to. they each have such interesting backgrounds and stories.

it's going to be sad actually leaving my home in the OC (sounds lame huh), but it's due time for a change if scenary. i must admit when gretchen and i first started going out, the first year was a bit rough. at times i doubted myself and wondered what if this and that. what if i actually went out with someone with my similar background. during the first year i almost broke it off several times because i couldn't take the issues we've had back then.

anyhow. i'm feeling affects of the tranquilnite now. my thoughts are fuzzy and might not make any sense right now. therefor i'm ending today's post here. the next time i post will be from up in olympia, washington. this year is going to be full of changes for me instead of having the changes happen around me.